After a long period of deliberation and mulling over the idea of stepping away from top level racing, I feel that now is the time for me to do so. I still love cycling and can see myself working within another role in the sport down the line. I've come to the decision to stop pursuing 'bike racing' as a career because of thoughts I've had for a long while. I no longer possess the inner drive/ obsession that I previously had to chase the ultimate goal of becoming a pro bike rider. Over the last 12 months these thoughts have become more prevalent. If you don't believe and back yourself 100% in this hard sport, realistically your ambitions aren't going to materialize. I've come to the conclusion that being a pro bike racer is no longer the be all and end all for me. I haven't taken this decision lightly and know it may come as a surprise to a few of you.
I am a realist and looking towards my future. I couldn't piece together how I would be able to make the jump up in level that had always been my ambition. I'm quite a process driven person and I've always loved training but more and more this has become a chore and the enjoyment has dwindled. The fun of racing has also been tainted too because of the amount of pressure I have put on myself to achieve. For example, winning my first 2 races this year didn't make me super happy; I was more relieved that I could simply tick that box. This hit home when I look back to junior days where winning made me feel elated. When enjoyment of doing something has diminished, it's time move on to different challenges. I know there are a lot more aspects in life for me to explore away from my racing bubble. I look forward to facing new challenges and rounding myself as a person with many new experiences.
At first, I felt like I would be letting those down that have supported me along my racing journey. However, at the end of the day if I'm not 100% committed to my sport both mentally and physically, I'm not benefiting anyone. It's important to be true to myself and honest to those around me in making a definitive decision. I'd like to reach out and thank everyone of you who has backed me through the years. Especially Welsh Cycling who have provided me with countless opportunities. Without a doubt, the highlight of which for me was competing in the Commonwealth games in Australia. Most importantly I'd like to thank my parents and family who wholeheartedly support me in whatever I do.
